I am not going to debate whether caning is the only way to discipline our children. It will be a never ending debate.
For me, I feel every child is different and should be handled differently. If my Melody is obedient and do as I say, I would gladly spare the rod and never want to have anything to do with it. But unfortunately this is not the case, mine is willful, rebellious and seem to turn deaf to my instructions. I am really amazed with how some parents can spare the rod and raise very well behaved kids. I really need to learn from them. I know mine will stray without the rod. So far, Melody can be disciplined with the rod and I hope that as she outgrow her toddlerhood, I can gradually spare the rod.
Normally, I only cane Melody as the last resort. Meaning all other methods does not work like talking, negotiation, “bribery”, time-out etc. Then only I will take the cane out to smack her, sometimes, i'll lock her in the room and let her cry and scream at the four walls. But as we all know, cane does not work on every children. It depends on their personality.
I also try not to use the cane so often coz she's not really afraid of it. Like what people say, if you use it all the time, they're so used to it, they're not intimidated by it anymore. Sometimes after caning her, she can still smile at me or she will just stare blankly at me as if nothing happen. .
It has been a learning process. We parents are always the ones who ended up feeling worst and heartache about the caning experience.